The daily challenge we can all REALLY feel
Hyperactivity, distractibility and impulsivity.
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (I know; what a name), these are the key markers of ADHD. Which is odd because not one of them comes close to properly explaining emotional dysregulation – a reality of ADHD that I find myself discussing almost every day with clients of various ages and backgrounds.
Those quick-to-fire, deeply felt emotions are a hallmark of the ADHD lived experience. And when they come out of nowhere, as is so often the case, they can be utterly debilitating – creating career-limiting moments, relationship issues and long-lasting spirals of shame. And those, of course, can do one’s own self-image all kinds of harm.
Lifting the lid on what’s happening in your head
To understand why the emotions of someone who’s ADHD can be so much ‘more’ in every sense, we need to first look under the bonnet and understand the relationship between two very important areas of the brain…
Deep inside each of the two hemispheres is a small, almond-shaped structure called an amygdala. Part of a group of structures that combine to form something called the lymbic system, the amygdala (experts refer to the pair as one, in the singular) is the alarm system of the central nervous system – the bit of the brain that fires up at the first sign of threat, readying us to take action.
Working in concert with the amygdala is the prefrontal cortex. Something of a regular character in the ADHD story, the PFC (which is the very front-most part of the brain, just behind the forehead) is the seat of our executive functions. This is a collection of mental skills we all possess, one of which is to calm and temper the red alert messages the amygdala is broadcasting around the body.
Cool. Or is it?
The result, when everything’s in perfect sync, is that the alarm is raised, but is quickly met with a relatively cool-headed ability to consider a situation before it’s acted upon. The amygdala fires us up; the PFC calms us back down, allowing us to react in a way that’s proportionate to the threat.
Makes sense. But, as you’ve no doubt guessed – and perhaps regularly experience first hand – ADHD can do a marvellous job of ensuring that this isn’t always how it goes.
Studies show that the amygdala of people who are ADHD can be more active than is typical. Plus, thanks to a weak functional connectivity between it and the PFC, the ‘keep calm’ messaging it receives can be late to the party, often only piping up after ‘feelings’ have already exploded and our instant gut reaction has completely stolen the show.
At this point, our nervous system is in a ‘sympathetic state’ – which, in everyday parlance means we’ve flipped into ‘fight or flight’ mode, and our biochemistry has triggered all manner of physiological reactions, including:
faster, shallower breathing
increased heart rate and blood pressure
dilated pupils
tensed muscles
clamminess of the skin
And on and on and on. Intentional or not, we’re readying ourselves to stay and fight the threat we’ve perceived, or to run away from it in a bid to live for another day.
Evolutionarily, has always been a useful thing. But in today’s world, cooler, calmer and more collected might be closer to the reaction we were going for. And the good news is, there’s something brutally simple we can all do to increase our chances of reaching it…
Let’s all take a breath
When you slow down and control your breathing, you shift brain activity from the bottom-up, threat-related type driven by the amygdala towards the top-down, regulatory type taken care of by the PFC.
You’re resetting your system from a ‘fight or flight’ state to one of ‘rest and digest’ – and all of those other physiological reactions soon follow suit, leaving you feeling a little calmer, and perhaps more level-headed as a result.
Of course, there are breathing techniques and there are breathing techniques. And (close to the max ADHD-friendly word count as we are) we’ll be exploring one in particular in an upcoming post. For now though, I invite you to recognise emotional dysregulation when it happens – and to begin building the habit of breathing more slowly and deeply as an automatic response.
From our opening three key markers of ADHD, it turns out that impulsivity actually DOES shape the ADHD emotions narrative. But what we’ve been discussing here is a specific kind of impulsivity: emotional impulsivity.
And, more than any other intervention bar none, the way you breathe is your ticket to keeping it that little bit more in check.
Interested in building better habits to help manage your ADHD? Get in touch here to arrange a free, no obligation discovery call with Kev. There’ll be no hard sell; just a relaxed and informal conversation about the many ways in which professional ADHD coaching could be working hard for you.
Copyright © Kevin Exley 2025
You should not regard the information contained in this article/post as being, or as a replacement for, professional medical advice or treatment. The words contained herein represent the thoughts and opinions of the author, who is not clinically or medically trained.
REFERENCES
Posner J, Nagel BJ, Maia TV, Mechling A, Oh M, Wang Z, Peterson BS. Abnormal amygdalar activation and connectivity in adolescents with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. J Am Acad Child Adolesc Psychiatry. 2011 Aug;50(8):828-37.e3. doi: 10.1016/j.jaac.2011.05.010. PMID: 21784302; PMCID: PMC3155780.
IMAGE: Sean Boyd (Unsplash)
